Tag archieven: Queer

Polari – a queer tongue

This is a talk that I recently held in the Taalhuis Amsterdam as an introduction to queer tongues, Polari and specifically Dutch Trans Polari. Amidst of some thirty queer and linguistically interested people there were talks about queering Hebrew, Spanish, Farsi, and about (Trans) Polari.

Good evening y’all.

Varda the naff hommie with nante pots in the cupboard
Look at this unsightly wretch with the appalling dentistry

Get that bona jarrie down the screech
Eat that wonderful food

I had bona arva off the hommie back at the lattie
My masculine gentleman friend shagged me senseless in my house

You just saw the Polari song “Bona eke”, Nice face. I will tell you a bit about what Polari is and how it works, and then give Dutch and English examples. And about the hitherto probably totally unknown “trans Polari”. A variant that my Noodly friends and I invented in the 2000s.

The other speakers will talk about their own languages in which I am usually not versed enough so I leave that to them. Also, more speakers means more fun


Polari comes from Parlyaree, Palari, Parlare. Of course it reeks strongly after the Italian parlare, to talk, to speak. Its roots however are diverse than just Italian and range from 1600s English, a mixture of Molly slang (Regency England men who dressed in drag and coined words like “bitch” and “trade”), thieves cant (the Elizabethan rigmarole of criminals, circus travellers, and other undesirables), East London cockney slang, and Italian brought home by sailors in the Mediterranean. Thus states the world’s pre-eminent scholar on Polari, Paul Baker, whose book “Polari -the lost language of gay men”, I can recommend if you want to know a lot more about Polari. He talks about the language system for instance and of course also about the uses of Polari.

Foto van panleisten in Taalhuis sessie over queer taal in de Mediterranee

Panel over queer taal in de Meditaerranee

In the heydays of Polari, early 20th century until well after the decriminalization and relative destigmatisation of homosexuality, the queer community had a strong need of being able to understand each other, without being understood by the mainstream. So, slowly people developed a special “dialect”. An “anti-language”, part of an “anti-society”.
This anti-society has to do with repression and oppression. If this language or jargon, slang that belongs to repressed groups, then is anti-language.


Usually we incorrectly equate anti-language, underground language, to subculture in general, but that is too general. Subcultures can also be affirmative of societal developments. Back in the not so far away days and again now – sometimes still – queer people belong to the societally undesired populations.
Anti-language is thus minority language. Street language like Bargoens belongs to it. Or the Travelers’ languages Terrachu or Rotwelch. Youth language. And thus also Lubunca (from Turkish labunyaca) and Hijra Farsi (which is not Farsi like, but more Hindi based).
Polari and underground language also possibly have an identity forming aspect. It is a language that is in use by a certain group of people, leading to affirmation of group identity. I recognise that in the case of the Trans Polari. It definitely helped stimulate the group identity of a small trans community in Amsterdam 🙂


An interesting and linguistically important feature of Polari is that it is more than a vocabulary, more than a glossary. It has all kinds of weird types: substantives, adjectives, adverbs, verbs …
Most other queer tongues are more slang than a true developed language. Dutch trans Polari is also more a glossary than a language, but you will find out. Using a certain strictness, one could say there is Polari and and there is slang. As often the difference gets elided a bit in daily use.

As far as I know and I could trace, Dutch Polari is mostly a glossary, a vocabulary. I am not aware of a special grammar. In English Polari that is different. That has developed into a Language. Every slang knows core and fringe vocabularies. Core words are often known in the general population too after some time, fringe vocab not so much, it is even only known to certain groups of users within the scene. Words like bona (great), i (see), i (face), (legs or knees), i (hair) are known to the bigger audience. I consulted a book titled “The queen’s vernacular” that starts with i – camp for embarrassing; and with Abigail – nickname for a middle aged conservative gay man. Abigails are close to aunties, closet queens and piss elephant faggots but there are subtle differences. The book ends withi (after hours establishment) and i, rubber shower shoes. In between are two hundreds pages of entries. The index only counts 40 pages of fine print.


Polari probably came to the mainstream audience in the 1970s. There is a 1973 Doctor Who titled,”Carnival of Monsters”. You may know Morissey’s song “Piccadilly Polari”, and in 2016 David Bowie had a whole song in Polari on his album “Black Star”, called “Girl loves me


Some nice English Polari words are also

  • Emptying the cage”, eating pussy;
  • Alamo! He’s attractive, from LMO, Lick Me Out.
  • Sharda! What a pity!
  • “I’ve got you number, ducky.“:  I know you’re gay, what you’re up to, friend
  • Napkin ring aka cockring
  • Omi-palone, feminine gay man
  • Riah zhoosher (hari dresser)

Some Nice Dutch examples of gay slang are

  • Fallocraat (a very sexual gay),
  • Franse ambassade (French embassy, a gay brothel)
  • Janet (Flemish for faggot)
  • Utrechtenaar (a gay man, presumably Utrecht is veeeery gay)
  • Trutmiep (swear word or euphemism for a gay)
  • Uilenhol (straight bar).





Presenter and teacher Dor about Queering Hebrew

Presenter and teacher Dor about Queering Hebrew


For women there is “Lesbiaans”, which is featured in. Now wu y.o. dictionary

  • Kipje (the youngest in a lesbian couple)
  • Burniertje (after Andreas Burnier, lesbian author)
  • Stonebutch (nothing dutch in here)
  • Schuurmeid (Surinamese for a lesbian)
  • Lesbo desperado (desperately searching for her true love to settle down with)
  • Uit je broekje glijden (becoming sexually very excited). 2024 that would be “I could eat that girl for lunch”

There are four professions that are mostly referred in Polari are sex work, the police (“Betty Bracelets”, “Hilda Handcuffs” “Lily Law”), show business and hair dressing (riah zhoosher, hair dresser). Polari also does a lot of she-ing, feminising which makes more familiar, while it sexualises and makes more anonymous

Trans Polari

Dutch trans Polari as I know it is a 2000s invention. It is the time when the first non-self help group for trans people (in those days called transsexuals, later transgender people) was founded. They, we, called ourselves the Noodles, because we are as diverse as one can get noodles. Both in the hardcore dry noodles as in dishes 🙂 There are noodles for everyone 😉
The Noodles had a cafe afternoon every third Sunday of the month. And a monthly two hour radio show. Some of us were more culturally interested, others like me were more hardcore activists, worried about losing the political angle.
As we were not only some form of trans but also some form of gay, we were familiar with the existence of gay slang and then of Polari. Most of us were moving in circles of people transitioning from one gender to another, sharply observing trans trends. So we found new – not always nice and respectful, and in that sense true to Polari, ways and words.
The way the vocabulary came to life was that we observed phenomena and that we found our own words for it


  • DIY (doe het zelf) trans, They buy their meds on the black market and have their surgeries abroad, or in Dutch private clinics, paying out of pocket.
  • De pillenbrug – de zwarte markt. After the bridge after Damstraat here where one could buy all one’s recreational drugs. These days the whole internet of the whole Darkweb is the black market
  • Ready made = an endosex (non intersex) cisgender person. Someone whose body is not bespoke
  • Non-binaire = non-binary. We used that in a radio show apparently. Before it got daily parlance. Did we invent it?
  • Handtasjesmafia (handbag mafia) = a trans woman who is convinced one is only a true woman with long hair, high heels and .. a handbag
  • De ombouwprinses = de endocrinoloog?
  • Kipfilets: chickfillets, breast augmentation prostheses
  • Blije doos – Happy box. This refers to the pussy of a trans man who does not want bottom surgery. The context is here that in Rotterdam where the word originates from, people who just had a baby, got a box with all kind of useful stuff, that was called De Blije Doos, The Happy Box.
  • Gevorderden (as in “Dames, Heren en Gevorderden”):  Advanced (ladies, gents and advanced people)
  • Gender agent = conservatve audience/person
  • Voor / na de oorlog (het transitieproces) Before/after the war. Surely in the old days transitioning meant being at ‘war’ with one self and with society<>

So, you see how much we queer people contribute to language, and in humoristic way too.

Believe the survivors

A short note on the need of codes of conduct and ethical behaviour anyway:

One thing the #metoo (rightful) cabal makes clear is that sexual assault and misbehaviour takes place everywhere. From inappropriate touching (definitely also on #IEWarsaw2017, The ILGA Europe Warsaw Conference) to full blown assault.

Less attention gets the psychological violence people – again mostly (trans/cis/intersex) women – are subjected to. As feminists (of all genders, colours and classes) all over the world make clear: there is nothing new in this and it is *always* a power question. The perpetrator cannot get their way through consent and thus resorts to forms of violence.

There is also a lot of talk about responsibility. That reminds us directly of the “she gave reason” debates around dress, looks and puts the blame with the victim. It ties in with (cis) masculinist thought. Television talk shows doubt and debate the women, or even invite women who are “tired of the whole thing”. In the Dutch talk shows they were all white middle age cis women (also all or most straight). With a good career. White feminists – where white points at the target group more than skin colour per se. Who most probably have been targeted also, and maybe also were perpetrators on any level, as women are all but free from being abusers. 

The “lookism” element of “You must have asked for it by wearing a short skirt/biking alone in the night/not defending yourself” is blatant sexism and victim blaming. Plus it obfuscates the whole power element. Popular science author and columnist Asha ten Broeke wrote in her most recent column (https://www.volkskrant.nl/opinie/asha-ten-broeke-slachtoffers-van-misbruik-geloof-ik-dat-is-een-morele-kwestie~a4529748/) around the publicity that sexual assault finally gets, there is a problem with the reasoning the perpetrator is innocent until proven guilty. While being a good legal principle, the opinion that only a legal decision brings clarity and culpability is problematic. Why this is problematic is twofold. First it is by definition a power question. Both the violence, the trespassing behaviour, and the legal process. Legal power should be equal for both parties but cuts to legal aid often weaken the position for women in court. Second there is the patriarchal culture in which we live that grants women or feminized persons less credibility.

Victims of sexual assault often don’t turn to the police. Out of shame, out of fear (the perpetrator often is not the man in the park in the dark). In the Weinstein case it now is known he went out of his way to convince the women not to do anything against him. The survivors are often scolded, treated with disbelief. Stigma is huge and support often limited, solidarity usually absent. Ten Broeke states in her column: believing the survivor is a moral obligation as legal proof in case of sexual assault and rape often is difficult, if the case gets to court at all. “The law is no substitute for morality”, Edward Snowden is quoted. Nor is moral indignation an alternative to legal procedures. On the contrary it calls for better laws and procedures to strengthen the victim’s position. And also here it is really important which thoughts think thoughts (Donna Haraway). Remember: law is never neutral. From which mindset do you approach reform? Why?What is your aim? The consequence of Believe the Victim is far stretching: it decentres the victor’s discourse, it lends credibility to the story of the assaulted, empowers them and thus corrects the power imbalance.

The law is no substitute for morality
(Edward Snowden)

In the beginning I referred to the recent annual ILGA Europe Conference. Because the queer community is not free of sexual or mental. Emotional abuse either. Many more are survivors than there are perpetrators, but given that abuse is about power and using extreme ways to get your way – be it emotional or physical – it happens there also. One person told they were touched on their chest in an inappropriate way by an ILGA Europe (cis male) board member, and more extreme is what happened last year at ILGA World’s Conference in Bangkok. There it appeared neither the intersex community is free of this. An OII associated trans-intersex man committed a full scale attack to a non-intersex female scholar and advocate and is still intent on destroying her advocacy work by spreading lies about her. And as a man, his story gets more credibility than hers. He has success, her work and credibility suffers from his hate campaign. I am sure similar phenomena also happen in trans organisations and movements.

Abuse is also a queer thing

As we stand for social justice, we need to realise this and put the interests of the victims before our friendships and loyalties. To be honest with ourselves and acknowledge the #ihave that also may be present as systems and structures work through people. And we need to #BelieveTheVictims (https://twitter.com/hashtag/BelieveTheVictims). That is a moral obligation. The more for queers who know self doubt and disbelief.

How did we get where we are?

Text of a talk given at the MERLINKA queer film festival in Belgrade December 10, 2015


I have been asked to give a talk on the progress we made in the Netherlands, on the level of LBGTI rights, and what remains to be done. I interpret this as: how did we get where we are?

That means that the first question is: where are we actually? And who is this we that are somewhere?

I argue that the we that has arrived in supposedly LGBT Valhalla, in the Netherlands, is in the end only a pretty privileged group. Although officially all their rights also apply to those excluded. I will show that a legal approach – however needed – always fall short without a focus on what society we need. It will always fall short without anti-austerity, anti-racism, anti-sexism and anti-war politics.

The rights that formally apply to everyone in the country are not in reach of everyone. If you are a trans* person of colour in the Netherlands, and in many other countries, you are supposed to have trouble with your family, and you are supposed to be of a Muslim background. Which means they will pit you either as the enemy and call slurs to deny your humanity including your being, lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans or intersex. Or they accept you happily as theirs – usually as their token trans or gay of colour – and pit you against the others who are thus even more black than before. You as a trans*  person of colour however are suddenly white and semi-privileged. But only partly because you still won’t have a job because of racial discrimination. And when you complain that you have issues in your own community the white people fail to respond. Mainstream LGBT organisation COC does a good job in lobbying and capacity building for minority sexualities and also do lots of trans* political work. The trans* organisation is not capable to do it. As a mostly lobby organisation however their possibilities to garner cultural change are limited. Only under-priviliged minority groups are dong real community building now.


The Dutch constitution posits all laws apply to everyone equally. Which is not self evident anymore since a couple of European countries adopted strikingly discriminating constitutional clauses.

In Serbia and Poland marriage is only between a man and a woman. Which is naive at best and will create unwillingly male mothers in same sex relationships. Women who thanks to a social life prior to their newly acquired and acknowledged gender are the fathers to their child. And fathers who, thanks to giving birth before legal gender change, also are the mothers of their child. This is a pre-queer genderfuck, unwillingly created recently by naive heteronormative lawyers. So, queering cisnormative discourse, I would incite those MP’s and lawyers to keep on doing this. They bring the world we wish of female fathers and male mothers (next to the more traditional male fathers and female mothers) closer than we could hope for.

Ah, yes. That is an issue still of course. We cannot marry. Well, actually, if we can convince our partners to stick with us, we will have de facto same sex relationships. Of course you can try to prohibit that also, but any lawyer with some sense in their brain will object to that for you endanger the stability of the legal system. So in that case also property rights for partner and children are arranged for.


Let me look back in time to tell you about the struggle that we had to get where “we” are, “as a country”. I love this “as a country”, as a nation state. Because it assumes and imposes a collective identity that must be created and maintained, enforced. With all mythology of what being your nationality constitutes. For Serbs you have to be strong, militaristic, war mongering, heteronormative. For the Netherlands its means being a welcoming, trading, gay and tulips loving country. I consider it one of my tasks to tear the rosy pink glasses, with which you look at my crazy country, off your nose.

In the 1960s the Netherlands also knew anti-gay fights. We still have anti-gay violence, and even more anti-trans violence. Actually “gay” did not yet really exists as an identity in the 1960s, most were homosexuals. Yes, words matter. The 1970s saw more and more homosexuals on the streets. I even walked the dogs of a homosexual or gay couple I knew through my parents (I was young and the dogs were big and strong). I was unaware of everything and gay or trans or whatever: fine with me. But homosexuals were in those days still getting conversion therapy and even electroshocks. And suicide was high, an uncle of mine took his life because of homophobia everywhere and surely also in himself.

Trans people finally got a place for medical attention in the 1970s and structurally from the 1980s. Legislation was adopted in 1985 and trans people had to undergo psychological screening, cross gender hormone therapy and genital surgery that made them infertile and preferably changed them “as far as possible” to “the other sex”. The reason why there is relatively low level of transphobic violence in the Netherlands (notwithstanding five killings in twelve years), has to do with this medicalising. We have a medical, even psychiatric condition, we cannot help it, and you are not to beat up mentally ill people. Plus we have a tradition of repressive tolerance. Also of the bad. See Black Pete. As long as you don’t scream too loud we keep it under cover. By the way, in my talk I mostly analyse. I do empathise with all struggles, also of cis straight people, but for that, and how to get forward, we have the discussion and personal talks.

In the meantime, through a tough going on, dealing and wheeling with politicians and several non-religious governments, we have won many rights, most recently the one of all-female parenthood without adoption. Until recently the second mother had to adopt her child. With men we still have issues. Gays, lesbians and bisexuals are protected under general anti-discrimination law, trans people not. Yes, partially, under the sex clause. However to think that works, is naive. Because it does not protect us, aggressors do not see us as women or men, but as freaks. So we are not yet there and in politics the idea is slowly that we have reached everything important.


And that brings me to the question “who are ‘we’”? Because when we look at queer rights, trans rights, intersex rights, how effective the protection of people of color is in the Netherlands, we see a gaping abyss. Intersex people, those born with a sex variation, people whose sexed body defies our dichotomous norms that there are only male and female bodies, have NO protection against heteronormative surgeons and endocrinologists. Trans people need psychological scrutiny to concur they are of sane mind in this wish. Only then can they go to the civil registry to change names and gender. Doctors and politicians are still scared shitless of autonomous trans people who without any scrutiny change their gender ad lib. Heaven forbid the bomb under the cisheteronormative system is thicker than blood, starts infecting the majority. Then, if you are a person of color, you are to suffer doubly, both under your cultural heritage and the white cishet system. Pardon, gender dysphoria.


I think it is important to learn you need patience and a good inclusive and intersectional strategy. Inclusive of your own minorities, inclusive of people with the right ideas although they may not belong diectly to the LGBTIQ community. For the it is of utmost importance to understand and act after the adage “Nothing about us without us”. Stand with sex workers. For many of us sex work is sort of a passage rite. A period of incredible vulnerability. Talk with Romani people how they are segregated and do not get rights. Many of the trans sex workers in the Yugo region are Romani people and they are shunned by the others. So in a an even worse situation than other trans people. Talk with immigrants about their struggle, see where you can help. Where they can help us. Talk with your intersex activists. Learn how the cisgender heteronormative system works, how it screws up all of your lives. Also that of the cisgender heteronormative people themselves, because they are not in the position to experiment with other ways of living, they are caught even deeper in the Matrix. Poor straight people. I pity you. Our Utopia is polymorphous perverse world where love and sex are no commodities anymore. Where we can frolic and fuck at work – but only with consent. Our future is a stateless queer ecosocialist society. It is a long road and we will know loneliness and bombs on the road, but remember: you never fight alone. Hasta la victoria siempre, comrades!

In my eternal search for phrasing alternative ways of loving people, I found this piece. A bit heavy handed, almost taking with the other hand what the first one gives, but it captures some of my thoughts and feelings. I adapted the text to be a little bit more me-friendly. For me the “you” is plural. If you find nice queer texts on this topic, let me know.

I want to love you.*

I want to love you whether you are male, female or “other”, young or old or “just right”, single or married or “taken”…

When I see you we will embrace and hold a hug long enough to glimpse some insight from each other’s heartbeat.

When we walk down the street we shall link arms, pause frequently, and turn our toes and noses towards the other to speak directly without modesty.

I would like us to share the couch together, rather than creating a “do not cross” line where we may as well be sitting on brick blocks seated four feet away. Give me your knee, your foot, your thigh—let your body dangle on top of my body so I can know you the way litters of kittens know each other.

I want to show up to you and look into your eyes instead at your eyes. I want to feel your hand and be consumed by it until the rest of the world ceases to exist. I want to be in your presence and be in want of nothing.

I would like you to leave our time together feeling loved and free and full of your most vibrant and luscious hue of you-ness.

I have no sexual agenda, as you know, because we laugh at the freedom we feel to speak to strangers for reasons other than because we have to or because we’re hitting on them.

For me, sharing sex with someone requires a certain alignment, and I do not take that lightly. My sex requires that I can possibly foresee living with a person and combining all my stuff with all of their stuff (and I mean physical, emotional, cognitive and spiritual stuff—the stuff that just feels heavy if it’s not the right fit, but feels buoyant beyond imagination when it is). It is delicate, it is careful, it is not presumptuous or impulsive.

And I do not think that our connection is somehow weakened because we do not share our bodies with each other.

For love is love is love is love, and that is what I want.

I only want us to fall in love.

Now I realize that at some point, either you or I may change our minds and crave sexual expression with each other.

For I am human—as are you—and we have wants that change and grow.

But if that desire should spring upon one of us, I hope that we will talk about it, the way we talk about the universe, cultural tropes, the nature of depression, what makes a good cup of coffee, and how your day was yesterday.

I hope that that topic of conversation is no more avoided than talking about the latest episode of Doctor Who or how to effectively clean one’s mouth from Oreo breath.

I would like you to share yourself with me—every stitch of you—so that I may be warmed and nourished by your tapestry. And I would not like you to worry that some of your threading is inappropriate or uncomfortable to share with me, because I am only here to accept you exactly as you are and to take interest in the way you step through life.

So lay on me your doubts, your troubles, your faux pas, your suffering, your sadness. Lay on me your hopes, your dreams, your excitements, your curiosities, your guilty pleasures.

I want to see you how you see yourself.

And while you tell me all of this and more, I would like to rest my eyes upon your eyes, and take my hand upon your back, and laugh up to the ceiling as you divulge, because it is in these moments of pure exposure that I bask in the ever-so-specific you, and I become the ever-so-specific me, and even though you’ve never stepped into the tides of the pacific and I’ve never ridden a skateboard, I am more sure than I’ve ever been that we are the same.

I don’t care if I see you everyday or if I see you only just the one time when I happened to be in that coffee shop and you happened to be making my drink (which was delicious, by the way, and thank you for not rolling your eyes when I asked if your only non-dairy milk was soy)—I want to be your lover.

And I will have the lover whom I share a bed with, and it will be none the less—on the contrary, that love will be all the more—because I take on another million lovers.

So if you’re ready, let me see you and let me love you.

My insides, my arm, my couch, my laugh, my eyes, my toes are all for you.

I hope that is enough.

(Adapted from Elephantjournal, original by Brental Schellenbach)

Over lovers en genders

Oftewel: ik snap er ook geen flikker meer van (pun intended uiteraard). Een korte vakantie in het zonnige zuiden zette mijn leven redelijk op zhaar kop. En dan gaat iemand als ik doorratelen, dooranalyseren. Maargoed: ik heb een vriendinges opgelopen in Spanje en dat gaat heel goed, danku. En als ware het een domino-spel tikken allerlei stenen elkaar aan en vallen diverse signaleringen op hun plek. Aangezien dit verhaal andere vrerigen, niet-binairen dan wel overstekers kan helpen, laat ik het vooralsnog open (en de vorige is ook open nu).

Lees verder

Over lichamen en lovers

Elders was ik een gesprek begonnen over queer irregular bodies en hun erotische aantrekking. En de vraag of mensen hun translichaam pre/tijdens of post-transitie als feature zien of als design error. Het leverde enige reacties op, en helpt mij in mijn denkproces. Het is nog een beetje een concept en de tekst zal her en der nog veranderen (via doorstrepen, ok?) Lees verder

Schelden doet soms erg zeer

Er zijn duidelijk klerelijertjes die alleen aan zichzelf denken en als ze hun zin niet krijgen zich meteeen opblazen als een kikker. En als je er niet “normaal” uitziet dan ben je meer dan anders hun pispaal. Het is ook niet normaal wat holebi’s en transen gebeurt. En het is belangrijk om zulke gebeurtenissen zoveel mogelijk te melden, ook als er geen fysiek geweld is gebruikt. Dan krijgen beleidsmakers zicht op wat er speelt en kan er langs de juiste wegen (onderwijs, opvoeding en desnoods justitie) actie ondernomen worden om een queer-vriendelijker stad/land/wereld te maken.

Hieronder het relaas dat ik stuurde aan Roze in’t Blauw, het ‘homo’-netwerk van de Politie Amsterdam-Amstelland.

Ongeveer een half uur geleden, rond 18:50 uur op woensdag 25 11 2009, reed ik op de fiets op de Marnixstraat ter hoogte van cafe de Koe bij het Raamplein. Een bromscooter kwam mij achterop en wilde mij passeren. Ik hoorde de scooter niet (teveel kabaal om mij heen). De bijrijder (achterop) schreeuwde meteen iets in de trant van “kijk uit je doppen” en riep in elk geval “flikker” er achter aan. Ik was gekleed in een zwarte jas met glimmende knopen en een petje op. Hij zag me voor homo aan (c.q. irritant persoon dat hem in de weg zat). Mijn automatische reactie was “dankjewel schat”. Rustig geroepen. Alleen deze keer werd iemand zachtst gezegd laaiend.
De jongen van ca 18 jaar (ouder dan 16 waarschijnlijk en niet veel ouder dan 20) is van Marokkaanse afkomst en ca. 170 cm lang, stevig gebouwd, krachtig postuur.  Vrij kort.haar (donker, evenals zijn ogen) dat licht krulde.  Spreekt goed Nederlands met de bekende Arabische “g”. Helaas voldoet ie compleet aan het vooroordeel (hij wordt bedankt).
Hij kwam op nog geen halve meter voor me staan en begon heel hard te roepen “Wat zeg je? Wat zeg je?” “ik breek je kaak stomme flikker. Kankerhomo.” “Noem je moeder schatje” Hij kwam zeer dreigend op me over. Voorbijgangers riepen hem toe op te houden waarop zijn reactie was dat ie het toch niet tegen hen had, dus waar bemoeiden ze zich mee. De scheldpartij duurde denk ik twee minuten ongeveer. Hij herhaalde het “flikker”, “kankerhomo” en “ik breek je kaak” een aantal keren. Ik geloof dat ie nog meer riep maar dat weet ik niet meer precies.
Op het moment zelf ben ik heel kalm gebleven. Nu reageer ik mij af door dit te melden via een zo precies mogelijk verhaal. Het duurt nog wel even voor ik me weer helemaal senang voel, maar heb verder geen extra angst ofzo. Mochten jullie denken dat het zinnig is hiervan ook echt aangifte te doen, dan ben ik daar volkomen toe bereid. Stuur maar even een bericht terug dan.

Mijn naam is Vreer
Ik zie er queer uit en identificeer mij als transgender
Ik ervaar dit absoluut als hate crime, verbaal geweld.

Bij deze hebben jullie weer en melding voor de statistieken :/

Ik zit net niet meer na te trillen, maar het was duidelijk imponerend, iemand die zich gedraagt als de meest barse filmsergeant die je kunt bedenken. Sommige blaaskaken zijn helaas vrij overtuigend.

Nieuwe vakliteratuur

Ik heb ontdekt dat ik toch best veel boeken koop. Vooral als ik in het buitenland zit. Parijs, Berlijn, Madrid … Ik ga niet weg voor ik minstens voor 50 euro aan vakliteratuur heb aangeschaft. Lang niet alles is via Amazon te vinden of te koop bij Vrolijk. Sowieso is er geen Amazon Spanje! Daarnaast: er gaat niets boven het grasduinen door stapels en planken vol boeken. Gelukkig lees ik maar een handjevol talen ;o)

Dit is wat ik de laatste tijd heb aangeschaft:

  • Beatriz Preciado: Kontrasexuelles Manifest
    Geruchtmakende eerste boek van Spaans queer filosofe
  • Monique Wittig: Les Guérillères en Le corps Lesbien
    Wittig is beroemd geworden in de lesbische jaren zeventig en tachtig met haar uitspraak dat lesbiennes geen vrouwen zijn: ze onttrekken zich aan de onderwerping door de man (c.q. het hetero-systeem). Uiteraard in het Frans aangeschaft: waar mogelijk moet je de poëzie van het origineel proeven (en je zoekt je de pleuris naar Nederlandse vertalingen). Heb nog ergens in het Nederlands haar roman De Opoponax staan waar ik destijds niet doorheen kwam. Maar deze grondlegster van het lesbisch vertoog blijft van belang.
  • Victor Hugo Robles (“El Che de los Gays”, Chili) Bandera Hueca, historia del movimiento homosexual en Chile. Must have voor ‘chilofielen’ ;o)
  • Judith Halberstam: In a Queer time and place; transgender bodies, subcultural lives. Nog weinig in gekeken, maar soort voortzetting van zhaar eerder boek Female masculinity waarin zhij kijkt naar hoe ‘vrouwen’ mannelijkheid incorporeren in hun lijfstijl. Queer time and space kijkt nu verder naar trans kunst en cultuur en de trans-‘blik’ (gaze)
  • Leo Bersani: Homos. Al uit 1995. Over de risico’s van groep-identificatie: je “homo” verklaren is niet zonder politieke en filosofische risico’s. Beetje voortzetting van Foucaults politiek van “niet zeggen maar doen”. Maar dan anders. Op advies van Halberstam aangeschaft.
  • Robert McRuer: Crip theory Standaardwerk dat op zeer leesbare wijze aangeeft wat het belang van een Queer Color Crip alliantie is. Crip is hier geuzennaam van gehandicapten,  “kreupelen”. Queer, handicap, gender, seksualiteit en culturele logica zijn absoluut verstrengeld. Queer denken zoner oog voor “alternatieve lichamen” gaat fout en vice versa ook. Aangeschaft op advies van Halberstam.
  • Virginie Despentes: Teoría King Kong. Spaanse editie (vert. B. Preciado). Over de abjecte vrouwen: eerder KingKong dan prinsesje. Hoe vrouwen ‘gemaakt’ worden. “Ik spreek als proletariër van de vrouwelijkheid”, als “sister outsider”. Boos en boeiend boek dat veel vrouwen die zich afvragen waarom ze zich toch zo gemankeerd voelen, een hart onder de riem kan steken. (origineel: King Kong Théorie, Eds Grasset, 2006)
  • A qui appartent nos corps? Féminisme et luttes intersexe (Nouvelles Questions Féministes , revue internationale francophone; Vol XXVII,1/2008)
    Zeer goed nummer over feminisme, trans en intersekse. Ieder die Frans leest en zich afvraagt hoe dat nou zit, moet dit lezen eigenlijk. Over medicalisering van lichamen (bekend feministisch thema!), twee seksen is te weinig, wat trans en intersekse bindt … Zeer lezenswaardig, zeker in het hier erg achterlopende Nederland.
  • Beatriz Preciado: Manifiesto contra sexual en Testo Yonqui. Haar twee boeken over sekse en gender op haar zeer eigenwijze manier geschreven. Manifiesto Contrasexual heb ik al in het Duits en gaat om het onttreken van sekualiteit en gender aan het heterosysteem, filosofisch en praktisch.
    Testo Yonqui is haar relaas over “vrijwillige zeflintoxicatie op basis van synthetische testosteron van de gevoelens en het lichaam van .P. Dit is een fysieke essay, een autopolitieke fictie of een autotheorie “(voorwoord). “Preciado nodigt ons uit in Testo Yonqui om de gangen van het framacopornografische regime door te lopen: een vorm van heet psychotroop punkig kapitalisme.” (achterflap). Klinkt zeer ingewikkeld, maar als je de terminolgie ontleedt en enig abstract genderdenken gewend bent, is het een prachtig zeer queer boek, niet alleen in thema maar ook in schrijven.
  • Paco Vidarte Ética marica; proclamas libertarias para una militancia LGTBQ Een boekje dat uit woede is geschreven in een drie weken tijd. Vidarte heeft het gehad met de krachteloosheid van de ‘homobeweging’ en stelt een radicale ‘nichten-ethiek’ op, voor alle LGTBQ. En i.t.t. veel anderen let hij wel degelijk op vrouwen en trans-eisen. Belangrijkste doel is de lezers (m/v/a) aan het denken te zeten hoe we uit de impasse van de homopolitiek van tegenwoordig komen.